I recently was challenged beyond what I thought I would ever try. Since moving to Colorado over seven years ago, I have always wanted to climb a 14er. For those of you who don't know, that means a fourteen thousand foot mountain. Colorado has 50 plus of these and I see them all around me. I have thought of what an accomplishment it would be to reach the summit, get a great picture, and enjoy the success. So, on June 14th, my roommates and I started on our journey.
I got little sleep the night before because our neighbors decided to have a party. But I woke up at 5:15 am ready to hike. The drive from our house to the trail head was about an hour and a half. We decided that Gray's Peak would be the best bet for an easier hike. Amber had hiked it before. The last few miles of the road was pretty rough...I got to test my car's ability to four wheel it.
We got to the trail about 8:00 am. There were many other hikers. As began our climb, it didn't take long before we were out of breath and in need of a break. All of us encouraged each other to take it slow. It helped to set goals of where we would take our next break. "At the end of that snow patch." "Where the trail turns to the right."
As we climbed, I kept thinking "What am I doing here?" I easily could hear Satan discouraging me and trying to get me to quit. I had a period of time where my whole right leg was completely numb. DD stopped and prayed over it, and the feeling came back. We continued on. Amber told us that the first hour would be the worst and then in the second hour you would feel that you could actually accomplish the climb. She was right, the second hour came and it felt easier...either that or the fact that we stopped climbing at the incline we had for the first hour!
When we stopped for lunch, it was a welcome break. Being so early in the summer there was still a lot of snow on the trail. There were times when you had about 16 inches of trail to walk on. On your left was the mountain and on the right was the rocky downslope. There were a couple of times where I feared for my life. When we stopped for lunch, I took of my left shoe to let my foot move around a little. It had gotten pretty sore and I thought maybe if I let it breathe it would feel better. It didn't...in fact it began to hurt more. But being the person I am, I continued to push forward, not wanting the pain to keep me from reaching the ultimate goal of the summit.
We continued for a couple more hours, getting closer to the top. But the pain in my foot made it almost impossible for me to continue. I finally reached the point where I realized that I made it this far...if I continue, I'll have to climb down on the sore foot. Amber and DD were about a quarter of a mile a head of me at this point. I had cell service, so I called Amber and said that I couldn't take another step, especially since I would have the hike the four miles back down the mountain.
I wanted them to continue on, finding a nice rock to sit on, I was perfectly content. By this time, it was already after 2:00 pm. The girls decided that it would probably be better to return to the car. It was hard to see the summit so close. To realize that I wasn't able to reach my goal.
So, we began the decent. It was the longest four miles I had ever walked. I so wanted to give up. My foot hurt, and since I was babying it, I began to hurt in other areas as well. After about two hours we reached the car. It was a welcome relief to take the shoes off and relax for a few minutes before beginning to drive home.
Amber was great about saying how well we had done for our first try. She hadn't reached the summit Gray's Peak either on her first try. She was really proud of us.
OK, so here are the things I learned about God...
1. The climb is much like my walk with God. There are days where it is easy, where everything seems right. Then there are days where I don't know if I can go on. I was reminded of the verse in Philippians that says, "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." Yes, taken out of context, but still has powerful meaning in my life.
2. We need friends in our lives to encourage us to keep on keeping on. If I didn't have Amber, DD and even Maya (the dog), I would have probably turned back, or may not have even made an attempt to climb the mountain. The same is with our walk with Christ. Who are you surrounding yourself with who are encouraging you to press on? How are they challenging you in your walk with Christ?
Will I try to summit Gray's Peak again? Yes, I think we will in August.
What happened to my foot? After a hard night of waking up every couple of hours because of the pain (I am so thankful for Advil!) I ended up going to Urgent Care early Sunday morning. Xrays showed no break so the doctor said that it was just soft tissue injury. For the next 10 days, I hobbled around. But it was a reminder of what I learned during the great adventure.
Saturday, July 5, 2008
Sunday, February 10, 2008
Journey Through Grief
I remember the first time I grieved over something. I was probably about 12. My pet hermit crab, Hermie, had died. I was so sad! I remember having a funeral for it and it was many years before I even thought of replacing him.
Over the years, I have experienced many different kinds of grief. There was the time my parents relationship was on the rocks. I remember crying out to God, asking why we needed to go through this hard time. I grieved over the pain I saw in my parent's life and also when I desired to have a better relationship with them myself. Another time I grieved was in college. I had a HUGE crush on a guy who was so incredible. He went from paying attention to me, to not acknowledging me in any way. The grief from that situation caused me to go into a depression for several months.
More recently, I have experienced grief over the many different changes I have had over the past few years. It really came to a head recently when we went through a staffing change at work. I began to grieve for the loss of, or rather the changing of, friendships, for the situation the church is in, and also for the transition that is to follow. When I began to grieve for those things, I also realized that I really hadn't grieved for things that have happened to me in the past, for the loss of dreams, for where I pictured my life to be now and where it really is. Grief can take many different forms.
When I think about grief, I think of change. What ever causes me to grieve also causes me to change, my situations to change, and those around me to change. Change can be so very difficult. But I am always encouraged and comforted when I remember the verses in Isaiah 43, especially verses 18 & 19. "Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland." God is making things new. In order to make things new, there must be change. I don't want to be caught in the same patterns. Again, change and grief make me stronger.
I remember when I was in about the 5th grade. I was experiencing pain in my legs every night. Some nights I needed to have them massaged, other nights, nothing would take away the pain. I know they were growing pains. I needed these pains to become the height I am today, (not that I am very tall. :)) The same with the pains that come from growing in Christ. Change and grief are part of the growing pains needed to depend more on Him for the strength I need to face the change in my life. He continues to prove Himself trustworthy to be there to hold me in my grief. I am comforted knowing that I can grieve in my Father's arms.
Over the years, I have experienced many different kinds of grief. There was the time my parents relationship was on the rocks. I remember crying out to God, asking why we needed to go through this hard time. I grieved over the pain I saw in my parent's life and also when I desired to have a better relationship with them myself. Another time I grieved was in college. I had a HUGE crush on a guy who was so incredible. He went from paying attention to me, to not acknowledging me in any way. The grief from that situation caused me to go into a depression for several months.
More recently, I have experienced grief over the many different changes I have had over the past few years. It really came to a head recently when we went through a staffing change at work. I began to grieve for the loss of, or rather the changing of, friendships, for the situation the church is in, and also for the transition that is to follow. When I began to grieve for those things, I also realized that I really hadn't grieved for things that have happened to me in the past, for the loss of dreams, for where I pictured my life to be now and where it really is. Grief can take many different forms.
When I think about grief, I think of change. What ever causes me to grieve also causes me to change, my situations to change, and those around me to change. Change can be so very difficult. But I am always encouraged and comforted when I remember the verses in Isaiah 43, especially verses 18 & 19. "Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland." God is making things new. In order to make things new, there must be change. I don't want to be caught in the same patterns. Again, change and grief make me stronger.
I remember when I was in about the 5th grade. I was experiencing pain in my legs every night. Some nights I needed to have them massaged, other nights, nothing would take away the pain. I know they were growing pains. I needed these pains to become the height I am today, (not that I am very tall. :)) The same with the pains that come from growing in Christ. Change and grief are part of the growing pains needed to depend more on Him for the strength I need to face the change in my life. He continues to prove Himself trustworthy to be there to hold me in my grief. I am comforted knowing that I can grieve in my Father's arms.
Wednesday, February 6, 2008
Journey Continues...
I am in the middle of making a decision. A decision that would require me to step out of my comfort zone, in more ways than one, and totally depend on God to supply my needs. Can I do that? I am trying to figure out where the line is between faith and stupidity, or as my mom would say, practicality. In this process I keep thinking of Peter walking on the water. It was pretty stupid (or impractical), but Jesus proved Himself trustworthy. So my question then becomes, what if the decision I make isn't the right one? Is there a right one? Can God bless both decisions? People have told me that recently, that both decisions are good ones. Can that be? I have always thought that there was a right decision and a wrong decision. They both weren't right. But does God still bless the wrong one? So many questions!
A friend is taking a financial leave of absence. He has small children and a mortgage. How can he do that, I ask? Because he remembers how God has been faithful in the past. He knows that God will be faithful in supplying his needs. I want that kind of faith. I need that kind of faith.
Father, help me have that kind of faith in all areas of my life! Help me to get out of the boat!
A friend is taking a financial leave of absence. He has small children and a mortgage. How can he do that, I ask? Because he remembers how God has been faithful in the past. He knows that God will be faithful in supplying his needs. I want that kind of faith. I need that kind of faith.
Father, help me have that kind of faith in all areas of my life! Help me to get out of the boat!
Sunday, January 27, 2008
Beginning the Journey
I set up this blog site almost a year ago. How many posts have I done? One that I just deleted because I have changed the purpose of this blog. I am re-creating this blog to share with you my adventure of journeying with Jesus. You will read of my struggles, my joys, and my passions. I hope that they will encourage you along your journey or challenge you to start a journey with Christ yourself.
I just returned from Snowbound, our middle school winter retreat. I have been very actively involved in putting it on for the past four years. It is something that I love doing...creating an environment where student's lives are changed. I realized this weekend how hard it is to go through change. My life may rapidly change in the coming weeks, and my participation in retreats like Snowbound is a sign of that. I was struck with how hard it is to think that I may never be at Frontier Ranch again. That I may not have the relationships with other youth leaders, students, speakers or musicians in the near future. It was a hard realization!
But I also remember that the journey with Christ IS hard. We had a great speaker who spoke directly to me. He listed out what a journey with Jesus entails. It means that I need to let go control, I need to not try to know everything and know that unexpected things will happen. It can and will be hard, but it will also be fun, exciting and challenging. Through it all, Jesus will be with me. Is any of this really new to me? No, but I needed the reminder. And it came at just the right time.
Over the past four years, I have been in a job that has been very challenging for me...from the very beginning. Challenging spiritually, emotionally, mentally, relationally, to the point where I questioned whether or not I should still be there. I recently heard an illustration of life. A moth creates it's cocoon of silk. It is a very sturdy cocoon. When the moth has finished it's metamorphosis, a little hole forms at the top. A human can come and help by opening the cocoon, but if that happens, the moth will not be strong enough to live. The struggle of escaping the cocoon makes it stronger. What a parallel to life...my life in particular! The struggles I face have and will continue to make me stronger. It is all part of the journey I am on with Christ. I know that the experiences I have had will be helpful in the coming days.
I hope that you'll join me as I continue on this journey. I will be sharing some exciting news soon, and hope that you'll be excited with me. Until the next post, I pray that you'll be thinking about your own journey and the struggles that you have that are making you stronger as you continue walking with Christ.
I just returned from Snowbound, our middle school winter retreat. I have been very actively involved in putting it on for the past four years. It is something that I love doing...creating an environment where student's lives are changed. I realized this weekend how hard it is to go through change. My life may rapidly change in the coming weeks, and my participation in retreats like Snowbound is a sign of that. I was struck with how hard it is to think that I may never be at Frontier Ranch again. That I may not have the relationships with other youth leaders, students, speakers or musicians in the near future. It was a hard realization!
But I also remember that the journey with Christ IS hard. We had a great speaker who spoke directly to me. He listed out what a journey with Jesus entails. It means that I need to let go control, I need to not try to know everything and know that unexpected things will happen. It can and will be hard, but it will also be fun, exciting and challenging. Through it all, Jesus will be with me. Is any of this really new to me? No, but I needed the reminder. And it came at just the right time.
Over the past four years, I have been in a job that has been very challenging for me...from the very beginning. Challenging spiritually, emotionally, mentally, relationally, to the point where I questioned whether or not I should still be there. I recently heard an illustration of life. A moth creates it's cocoon of silk. It is a very sturdy cocoon. When the moth has finished it's metamorphosis, a little hole forms at the top. A human can come and help by opening the cocoon, but if that happens, the moth will not be strong enough to live. The struggle of escaping the cocoon makes it stronger. What a parallel to life...my life in particular! The struggles I face have and will continue to make me stronger. It is all part of the journey I am on with Christ. I know that the experiences I have had will be helpful in the coming days.
I hope that you'll join me as I continue on this journey. I will be sharing some exciting news soon, and hope that you'll be excited with me. Until the next post, I pray that you'll be thinking about your own journey and the struggles that you have that are making you stronger as you continue walking with Christ.
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